Music Therapy

Burn it down till the embers smoke on the ground And start new when your heart is an empty room With walls of the deepest blue Home's face: how it ages when you're away Spring blooms and you find the love that's true But you don't know what now to do Cause the chase is all you knowAnd she stopped running months ago And all you see is where else you could be When you're at homeAnd out on the street Are so many possibilities to not be alone The flames and smoke climbed out of every window And disappeared with everything that you held dear <----------But you shed not a single tear for the things that you didn't need Cause you knew you were finally free Cause all you see is where else you could be, When you're at homeOut on the street are so many possibilities to not be alone And all you see is where else you could be,when you're at home,There on the street, are so many possibilities to not be alone. . . .-Death Cab for a Cutie.

this song is my favorite one rite now. . . . its all about restlessness and longing , its about someone who always pines for something more in life but can never get a grasp on it. . .

My state of mind 22/8/08

Its been a very long time since something really moved me. ..since sentiments struck atleast one responsive chord. Gone are the days of butterflies in the stomach feeling or even chills down my spine feeling. . .i feel numb like a corpse. There have been times when my life played out like a movie...preferably a black and white one but the reality is in color and is less well scripted than a movie. This feeling called life drives us all to our finest heights and our darkest depths. . .the joy brings inspiration,creation,passion etc. then comes the pain, unafraid outbursts and so the vicious cycle of giving and receiving everything continues. . .
There are times i wonder why cant we just scream and get violent and let it all out.?why is it that we are civilised? inspite of man and his animal instincts. . .is it because we are here to impress?no it is because this is what we are. . . we civilize ourselves to disguise ourselves and when we cant anymore we raise each other to heights of aggrevation and we tear each other limb from limb. It happens all over be it in war. . .or in relationships. . .anything!
L-o-v-e is the most sought after four letter word. . .people use it so much that i wonder what is the correct definition. I have often mistaken infactuation for love or maybe not. . .how do i knw? right now love to me seemslike a mutual clutching at the lifebelt of the other while drowning in lonliness. . .fearing that if i do give up on it i mite be giving up too soon on something that i actually desire.. . on the contrary i also tend to think that im not up for it. I am seized by melancholy because of my state of mind but im sure it will sublimate into the public sphere like all other thoughts and feelings. . incase it doesnt. . .i will just have to roll in the mud of self pity for a while. ..

Ayn Rand put it simply for me: The hardest thing to explain is the glaringly evident which everybody has decided not to see.